Wedding bells or divorce court? We looked at the state of marriage in Sioux Falls

It’s too soon to know for sure if the coronavirus pandemic changed how many people in Sioux Falls decided to marry or divorce.

But what we do know is that whatever 2020 brings in terms of official data, anecdotally, people in both industries say the numbers could be lower.

We also know regardless of trend, weddings in Sioux Falls are looking different now compared to years prior as the number of professional services and wedding vendors increases.

Before getting into weddings, let’s get the tough stuff out of the way.

Divorce data

Nationally, some people predicted divorce rates would skyrocket during the pandemic as quarantined couples were forced to reckon with problems on the homefront. Locally, though, that doesn’t appear to be the case.

“If anything, there’s fewer,” said Beth Roesler, a divorce attorney at Goosmann Law Firm.

Historically, divorces in South Dakota peaked between 1980 and 1995, with a slight downward trend into 2015, where it has since plateaued.

Lincoln County has averaged 134 divorces per year for the past decade, according to data from the South Dakota Department of Health. Over the same period, Minnehaha County saw 619 per year on average.

Roesler does note that while the number of divorces could be down slightly, she has seen an uptick in people showing interest in the process.

“I’ve had more instances where people have started to file then stopped filing since COVID than in other years,” she said.

Why start the process and then stop?

It’s expensive, she said, and in uncertain financial times like those happening during the pandemic, people are less likely to make a huge financial commitment like a divorce.

“There’s no such thing as an inexpensive divorce,” Roesler said.

Her advice to couples considering splitting is to have a clear financial picture of both parties before starting the process. Gather important financial documents, and make sure you have a clear sense of how your budget will change after you separate.

Saying ‘I do’

The pandemic’s impact goes beyond divorces, though. The past year has been a tough one for folks in the wedding industry, as well.

Many couples postponed the big day, and those who did wed often did so at a smaller scale than they may have planned initially.

“We did about 20 percent fewer weddings (in 2020) than we did the year before,” said Chris Hintz, founder and president of Pinnacle Productions.

That tracks with qualitative data nationally. A majority of respondents to surveys from both The Knot and Brides say they opted to postpone their wedding to a later date.

South Dakota’s marriage rate has been on a steady decline for years after a significant peak between 1965 and 1975. The rate of decline has flattened since around 2010, and in 2018, the latest data available, the rate was 6.5 marriages for every 1,000 people.

South Dakotans also generally are marrying about two years younger than their counterparts nationwide.

According to U.S. Census data, the median age of a first marriage steadily has been trending older, at 29.7 for men from 2014 to 2018 and 27.9 for women.

South Dakota’s median age of first marriage in the same time period was 27.8 for men and 26.3 for women.

The median age for women in New York and Massachusetts to marry is nearly 30. For men, it’s 31. It’s Utah, the median age for women to first marry is 24. For men, it’s 26.

Sioux Falls marriage data depends in large part what side of town you’re living on.

Lincoln County saw the number of weddings more than double from 2009 to 2018, per Health Department data, though that increase certainly can be attributed in part to rate of population growth in that same period.

In Minnehaha County, marriage rates have been more stable, with about 1,400 weddings per year on average.

While the numbers haven’t changed too much in recent history, the weddings themselves have.

For one, couples are willing to spend more, said Amanda Nelson, owner of wedding venues Blue Haven Barn and The Atrium at Blue Haven.

“Cost per wedding is going up,” Nelson said.

For Hintz, who has been in the wedding industry for nearly 20 years, that’s in part because people are looking for more services.

“People are spending more on creating an experience,” Hintz said. “It’s about creating something that is unique and personal for that client.”

When he first started, his services were just playing music. Now, Pinnacle’s offerings include help with decor, lighting and elements that add to the atmosphere, like fog machines that create a “dancing on a cloud” vibe.

Couples also are willing to spend a little extra to get all the little details right, said Ashley Anderson, an event planner with Jane Rae Events.

Jane Rae also saw a hit to business early in the pandemic with 15 percent to 20 percent of couples opting to reschedule, but by July, people were ready to start having events again.

Anderson predicts that while 2020 may have seen fewer weddings, 2021 will make up for it.

“2021 is going to be huge,” she said. “People are celebrating bigger. They want more things. I think people are just excited to party.”

Looking even further ahead, Hintz said 2022 is the year to watch.

“I legit think it’s going to be insane,” Hintz said.

He predicts couples, especially millennials, are growing closer in close quarters during the pandemic, and by going through a difficult time together, they may see the importance of marriage in a new light.

A June article from The New York Times squares with Hintz’s prediction, guessing that while some couples may continue to have smaller gatherings or new wedding formats post-pandemic, others are going to be ready for a big party.

The article goes on to quote Neil Brown, chief executive of wedding clothing brand Amsale.

“As we saw after the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic, there may be another Roaring ’20s era,” Brown said. “Either way, weddings will have a strong focus on family and valued friendships; the lockdown has truly elevated the meaning of connections to those we love most.”