In ‘the house that Rainbow Brite built,’ family flourishes through fostering, adopting

This paid piece is sponsored by Children’s Home Society.

“We’re just pretty normal, plain people,” Lisa Bowen said.

Lisa and Jamie Bowen of Humboldt have nine children and three grandchildren. Four are their biological children, age 23, 20, 14 and 13. The Bowens also have four adopted children and are the guardians of another child; two are 17 and the others are 10, 9 and 8.

Normal, plain people?

The Bowens stumbled into foster care and adoption. But then they embraced it with everything they had.

“My friend and her husband were foster parents,” Bowen said. “They’d had a little girl for about two years when my friend got in a car accident and died. And her husband just couldn’t raise her by himself. We all had to say goodbye to the little girl. I thought, ‘If I were licensed, I could have taken her.’”

Lisa and Jamie started foster parent training soon after. “We were dumb, two naive farm kids,” she said. “We thought they’d call us once a year to watch a kid for a few days.”

The Bowens didn’t know foster parents were in such high demand. “And we didn’t think those things happened here in Humboldt and Hartford and Sioux Falls,” she said.

“Adoption was never our goal. But we said, ‘What if they’d ever call us for a baby?’ I could never take a baby knowing I’d have to say goodbye,” Bowen said. “Lots of people want babies, so I knew they’d never call us. But then they did — they called us four days before Jace was born because nobody wanted to take him. And from there, everything spiraled out of control. He’s going on 10 this year, and we brought him home when he was a day old.”

One thing led to another — or more accurately, one family member led to another. They ended up adopting the boy, his half-sister, his cousin and his aunt, who was still a minor. Most recently, the Bowens adopted Miles, who may or may not be related to some of the others.

The result is a big, warm, busy multiracial family with children of all shades and backgrounds. “We call it the house that Rainbow Brite built. And everybody is welcome,” Bowen said.

Miles from home

When Miles was born, he tested positive for methamphetamine and marijuana. “He came to CHS (Children’s Home Society) residential care at 3 years, 9 months old; he was one of our youngest children ever,” said Scott Egan, unit coordinator.

“Miles had a rough beginning. His bio parents had a long history of meth addiction, other drugs, incarcerations and legal issues,” Egan continued. “He was in and out of a few foster homes. He became aggressive towards siblings and had little motivation to make positive changes. Former foster parents said that he ate meals with his hands and needed to be taught how to use silverware.”

But Miles was able to grow gradually with the structure provided on the CHS campus. “He was here for four years and two months. With his hard work, a few bumps, and the great care he was given, he was able to work his way to being successful in a family,” Egan said.

The Bowens found Miles through the Wendy’s Wonderful Kids program of the Dave Thomas Foundation. Children’s Home Society operates the program in South Dakota; its purpose is to find adoptive families for children who some say are “unadoptable.”

“The Bowens were an instant hit with Miles and the staff at CHS,” Egan said. “They had a big extended family, lived out in the country with pets, room for him to roam and older siblings to assist him. You couldn’t have drawn up a better family on paper if you tried. The connection and vibe about the family was so incredible.”

Becoming MLB

When he went to live with the Bowens at age 7, Miles wanted to change his name. “He’s a lover of all things superhero, and it didn’t click right away when he came back and said, ‘I want to be Miles.’ Well, it’s because Miles Morales is the new Spiderman,” Bowen said.

Miles then met Bowen’s father-in-law, who had stage four cancer and six months later passed away. “Miles had never had grandparents, so it was difficult to lose one so soon. He then chose my father-in-law’s middle name and became Miles Leroy. He put a lot of thought into that — it was a big deal.”

“And then, of course, his initials are MLB for Major League Baseball. There’s a thought process behind everything he chose. He’s just an amazing little kid,” she added.

Miles now has a huge family. Bowen has seven brothers and sisters, most of whom have children and live within 10 minutes from her parents’ house. Overnight, Miles became a brother, a cousin and an uncle.

“He thinks he’s just king of the world when he goes to my brother’s house,” Bowen said. “They will go out on the four-wheeler, stuff our kids were used to doing. Miles said, ‘This is just awesome that this guy wants to spend time with me and take me fishing, and there’s all these other safe places I get to go!’ My family alone has 100-plus adults and children.”

Adoption has helped the Bowens learn and grow. “It has taught our family about diversity,” Bowen said. “Our kids don’t see color, and I wish more people could be that way. Because I see the struggles our kids of color have. They’re brown. They’re not like them. If only I could bottle up what it has taught us and our biological kids. We’d be the most knowledgeable people in the world because you just can’t even imagine what it does for these kids.”

Bowen shares that it also has affected their extended family. “It opened up their hearts and their minds because we grew up pretty rural. But they’ve embraced it. They just immediately love them. They know what these kids have been through. So not just us — but everyone around us, our friends, our neighbors — they don’t look at them any differently, and they shouldn’t be looked at any differently. They don’t treat Miles like the kid who has been abused. They treat him like the kid who needs love. It’s brought our family closer.”

A word to those considering foster care or adoption

Having more and more children doesn’t seem to sap the strength from Lisa and Jamie Bowen; on the contrary, it seems to energize them.

“It’s so rewarding to watch them grow and watch them change and watch them learn how to love,” Bowen said. “It’s just so hard to explain what it can be like and what it can do, what it can put inside you and the drive it gives you.”

And it’s equally rewarding for CHS staff. “To see a child you’ve worked with end up in such a perfect setting, thriving, being loved and have the potential to be the best person he can be is so gratifying,” Egan said.

Recently Lisa and Jamie Bowen were at Children’s Home Society. “My husband saw a little guy, and he said, ‘Oh my goodness, we could get 10 more!’ I’m said, ‘I know! They just want people to love.’ That’s what they want.”

“And they turn around, and they love us. They want normalcy, they want routine, they want a ‘Good night, I love you.’ That’s all they want. They don’t want fancy things. They don’t want a mansion. We don’t do expensive vacations. Well, we can’t get everybody in the car,” she laughs.

Big family dinners happen several times a week at the Bowens’ home. “Round circle dinner is what we call it,” Bowen said. “That’s what they want. That’s what they need. They just need love and family.

“We treat them like they are children. Foster kids or adopted. It doesn’t matter. They’re our kids.”