Family’s loss leads to plan for birthing, bereavement suite at Sanford Health

First joy, then pain.

The happiness came when Kia and Ryan Pidde learned that she was pregnant with their third child. The pain began at 27 weeks, when they learned that their medical team could no longer find a heartbeat.

Wells Pidde was stillborn at 28 weeks in 2021, and his parents were left with clay molds of his hands and feet.

“It was a very traumatic experience that we went through,” Kia Pidde said.

The bereavement team at Sanford Health provided loving support to the Piddes during that time, but the couple endured their loss while staying on a hospital wing with excited parents and infants. Now, when Sanford Health Foundation concludes its fundraising, families who find themselves facing a similar loss will have a special suite where they can grieve together and alone.

When it opens, likely in 2026, the birthing and bereavement suite will offer a peaceful, private space. Mothers, fathers and other family members will be able to take the time they need to say goodbye, apart from the other rooms.

More than 300 babies are born every month at Sanford Women’s, said Erin Sanderson, vice president of Sanford Health Foundation’s Sioux Falls region. On average, five to seven families each month experience a stillbirth or have an infant that lives only for a few hours, generally because of a genetic condition.

“It’s a new, beautiful way that Sanford is supporting families during some of their hardest times,” Sanderson said. “The suite will offer a serene, private space for labor and delivery. We know if a mother is on a regular floor and a healthy baby cries or they see moms walking down the halls, it’s really an incredibly painful experience.”

The foundation announced its plans for a birthing and bereavement suite earlier this month during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Sanford Health Foundation’s purpose is to elevate and enhance the patient experience in any way it can, Sanderson said.

The birthing and bereavement suite will be the first for Sanford Health and the first in the Sioux Falls region.

The suite’s location has not yet been determined, but it will be on the main campus in the Sanford Women’s building. The initial fundraising goal is $300,000. If the goal is exceeded, then additional enhancements can be included.

“It’s still a birthing suite,” Sanderson said. “When the mom and dad check in, there will still be medical equipment and monitors to hook up to, but their surroundings will be different. We’ll add calming elements like a couch for families.”

Sanford already has a bereavement program in place, Sanderson said. Families have the option to receive a weighted teddy bear so parents don’t have to go home with empty arms. Clay molds can be made, and a dedicated space gives parents the chance to select a blanket or clothing for their infant to wear during any farewell service.

The birthing and bereavement suite will take services to the next level, Sanderson said, and best of all, setting it up was the suggestion of a family that had gone through the experience.

“Our provider team knows there’s a need for it, and it’s extra special when it comes from a community member or a patient,” Sanderson said. “They’ve continued to walk along with us on that journey.”

It was the Piddes who proposed it. Kia Pidde learned of bereavement suites after Wells’ death, when she met Robin Boudreau, of Iowa City, Iowa, who established No Foot Too Small

Boudreau and her husband, Ryan, have partnered with the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics, The Nebraska Medical Center, MercyOne Hospital in Dubuque, Iowa, and Genesis East in Davenport, Iowa, to build birthing and bereavement suites. Pidde met Boudreau about 18 months ago.

The Piddes, married for 10 years, are the parents of Stella, 10, and Georgia, 8. Daughter Penelope just celebrated her third birthday. Wells would have turned 4 in August. All four children were born at Sanford.

“Stella and Georgia were very quote-unquote normal pregnancies,” Pidde said. “I had the first trimester sickness, otherwise the pregnancy was normal, and I had healthy babies. I felt very comfortable and well taken care of, surrounded by other moms who were going through the same as I was, there for the same reason. All of us hoped to deliver healthy babies and having a happy outcome.”

Her pregnancy with Wells was different. Red flags appeared early on, and Pidde was monitored more closely.

“They weren’t super-concerned, but there were things to me that having gone through two uncomplicated pregnancies I found a bit unnerving,” she said. “Being monitored more closely in some ways was reassuring because I got to hear the heartbeat more often and see the scans more often.”

But at 27 weeks’ gestation, the Piddes learned that their unborn child no longer had a heartbeat. Wells was delivered five days later, after Pidde’s obstetrician returned from a trip.

“It was a feeling of — a lot of confusion, a whole spectrum of emotions: confusion, sadness, frustration, anger but also just — I was walking around carrying an unborn baby and looked like I was very pregnant and supposed to be having a baby very soon. It was hard to face people.”

The Piddes are grateful that Sanford Health was receptive to their idea of the birthing and bereavement suite. They want families facing the same pain they experienced to have the environment, time and services they need to start the grieving process.

“They’ll spend the times with their babies once they’re born, the time that feels appropriate to them without any judgement at all, a space where they don’t have to worry about seeing other pregnant mothers or hearing the sounds of new babies, all the things that you would imagine would be extremely difficult to face when you have just delivered a stillborn baby,” Pidde said.

The Piddes are willing to tell their story to help other families face the pain of infant loss, knowing that the grieving process will be different for everyone. There is hope and joy on the other side, and for the Piddes, it came with Penelope’s arrival less than a year later.

“We can only imagine how gut-wrenching this must be for families,” Sanderson said. “Our provider team knows there’s a need for it.”

To learn more about the Sanford birthing and bereavement suite or make a donation, click here.

Arc lighting