Unlikely bond: Moms, stepmoms forge friendships, gain national notice

It is a relationship most families won’t ever get to see: two women working through the hostility and hardship that often come with a new marriage, divorce or separation to become good friends.

It can be especially difficult when those relationships involve children. 

That’s what evolved with Katie Wilson, 36, and her husband’s ex Connor Stewart, 30, whose story was recently featured in the “Today” show’s parenting section. 

“I wanted nothing to do with her,” Stewart, 30, told “Today.”

Wilson, a mom of two girls and founder of The Mason Jar Boutique married Blake Wilson in 2020 who shares daughter Presley, 8, with Stewart after they split in 2017. 

Stewart admits she and Blake weren’t meant to be, but they wanted what’s best for their daughter through a rough breakup and the yearslong custody battle that followed. 

“We kept our distance in the beginning,” Wilson said. “It was bad, and there were a lot of issues.”

“Even though I realized Blake and I were not compatible, another woman in the picture around my child had me in constant defense mode,” Stewart added. 

Wilson brings two daughters from a previous marriage to her ex-husband, Levi Luttman, with whom she now has a “great co-parenting relationship,” she said. 

Katie Wilson and Connor Stewart pictured with their daughters Presley, Ella and Parker

The turning point between the two women came in 2021 after nearly four years of hostility. 

It helped that their daughters were all involved in the same activities — specifically gymnastics.

“I had a feeling that if I got to know Connor I would like her,” Wilson said. “I just kept pushing for us to have a conversation.”

They had that conversation. 

“She came up to me at the gym, we talked, and I later thought maybe she’s not a terrible person after all,” Stewart said.

“Once I heard Katie’s point of view, I realized she understands the struggle, and it’s hard on her too. The things we were arguing about weren’t worth it,” Stewart explained. “It’s not fair to the kids.”

Wilson invited Stewart and Presley to Minneapolis when Olympic gold medalist Simone Biles was headlining a gymnastics tour. On the drive up, “Connor started eating my pretzels; that’s when I knew we were going to be OK,” Wilson told “Today.” 

“Katie and Blake are happy, she’s good to my child, so I have little to complain about,” Connor said. 

The two not only have worked through their obstacles but also they’re now best friends and business partners. 

It’s a journey they’ve started documenting on a shared TikTok account as they each have experience in social media content marketing. 

“We’re both very open people, so we started making videos to share our relationship, show that it can work and doesn’t have to be so bad,” Wilson said. 

“Katie and Connor’s friendship has definitely made life much easier for all of us,” Blake Wilson told “Today.” “It doesn’t feel like a shared custody situation; it feels more like just one big family.”

“The worst thing about being divorced is how much you miss with your kids,” Katie Wilson said. “That isn’t the case for us anymore.”

Call it blended family goals.

A friendship that ‘means the world’

Rewind a few years.

Wilson and Stewart’s isn’t the only like-minded relationship the nation has seen from South Dakota lately.

Maria Anderson and Abby Pedersen

Abby Reverts Pedersen, 36, and Maria Anderson, 37, shared a similar journey in Madison.

The two admittedly butted heads, they shared with “Today” in June 2021, as Pedersen married Anderson’s ex-husband Steven Pedersen, 41, and became the stepmother to their two children, Jordan, 15, and Jayna, 13. 

When Abby and Steven’s dating quickly led to an engagement, Pedersen admits she “stepped in strong.” 

“It was really bad for like 2 1/2 years,” she said. 

“It was awful,” Anderson added. “I was very guarded and protective of my kids.”

The two used e-mail as their formal method of communication, but even that route always seemed to make matters worse.  

“I remember reading through some e-mails and realizing how much this is causing internal friction and turmoil,” Pedersen said. 

“Emotions were high on my end and everything would get misconstrued,” Anderson said. “It happens to everyone with even the best of intentions.”

The Pedersens had their first son, Beckham, in 2015, and things really turned around when more children joined the family. 

It was always about the children, and they didn’t want the experience to be stressful on both families, the women said.

“Kids are smart,” Pedersen said. “They catch half of the conversation and catch on quickly, which only added to the hostility.”

The summer Steven’s dad was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer changed everything. 

It was a turning point and a wake-up call, of sorts, when both women realized life is short and they wanted to keep stress and hostility out.

The Andersons and Pedersens share a beach vacation as a blended family.

“I remember we sat down and had a conversation without emotions involved,” Anderson said. “And shortly after that stopped all business with attorneys.”

Anderson’s family moved across the street from the Pedersens and slowly started spending more time together through crafting and family functions. 

Abby Pedersen and Maria Anderson pictured with daughter Jayna, 15

To honor Anderson’s birthday, Pedersen posted to Facebook in 2019 about their newly formed friendship.  

The post read, in part:

“When picturing what my life would look like, I can tell you with 100% certainty that it didn’t involve meeting a man with children. I didn’t sit back and dream of stepping into the role of being a stepmom and learning to navigate the challenges that can come along with that.

And I guarantee you that this woman did not fantasize that one day she would watch as her children accepted another mother figure into their lives.

Slowly but surely, we peeled the onion one layer at a time, cautiously dipping our toes into fresh water. What we didn’t anticipate through the process was a genuine friendship. One that is authentic. One that has us celebrating our success’ not our failures. One that can appreciate that even though we may not always have the same opinions, rules or parenting styles we can respect each other’s differences and learn from them to better ourselves. Making both of us a more well-rounded mom for our kids.

We hear many people say ‘Really?!?!… I could never do that’. But for your kids, your marriage, your productivity at work, your other relationships, your mental health and personal sanity, you could.

Who would have thought that these two women trying to figure out a new normal would have ended up friends?!? These two would have told you you were Out. Of. Your. Mind!

So even though the intro into our story was a sloppy, drama filled sh** show, it has turned out to be pretty awesome.”

In the years that followed, the two women have only grown closer.

“I wanted to show that if you’re intentional and put genuine effort forth, you can grow together,” Pedersen explained. They knew life didn’t have to be miserable if both were willing to work at the relationship.

“Abby is really good for me,” Anderson said. “We don’t agree on everything, but we get along, laugh with each other, and ultimately, a friendship was formed that didn’t have to.”

“Her friendship means the world because it’s tied to my kids.” 

The women said moving forward together has to be a conscious choice. 

“We could’ve gotten by just by being cordial,” Pedersen said. “But our life is so much better after we took the time and effort with all parties involved.

“We still can be different and still be friends.”