Loving Lillian: 11-year-old finds forever home with meant-to-be mom

This paid piece is sponsored by Children’s Home Society.

It was Nov. 1, the first day of National Adoption Month 2024. Eleven-year-old Lillian Jean Hansen officially joined her forever family at the Minnehaha County Courthouse.

The CHS crew who attended the adoption: employee growth and development specialist Gabby Larson; facilities supervisor Brad Hansen (Lillian’s grandpa); residential therapist Brittny Mueller; Lillian Hansen; unit coordinator Scott Egan; WWK adoption specialist Tina Graber; Sarah Hansen; clinical unit supervisor Dawn Endsley, and president and CEO Michelle Lavallee.

With a big smile on her face, Lillian held a sign that read, “After 1,530 days in foster care, today I am adopted.”

Family, friends and a crowd of Lillian’s fans from Children’s Home Society came to the courthouse. More staff wanted to attend — as Lillian was friends with everyone — but they were needed back on campus.

Lillian’s story begins

Lillian first came into Child Protection Services’ custody at the age of 6 with her two brothers. After a few weeks in foster care, she returned home. She was removed again a year later with temporary emergency placement at the Children’s Home Society Shelter for Family Safety.

Lillian lived with three foster families before being admitted to residential treatment at CHS. Born with a rare neurodevelopmental disorder that results in some developmental delays with speech, Lillian found the right fit in the intensive unit.

“A lot of times, kids transition to my unit for the smaller ratio,” residential therapist Brittny Mueller said. “We have a 2-to-1 ratio here, so we’re able to give a lot more of that direct contact.”

“Lillian was placed here for lack of emotional regulation, some aggressive behaviors,” she continued. “During her time here, she worked on identifying her own emotions, feelings and working through some of that past trauma.”

The team saw improvement in her ability “to connect and accept staff and adult support,” Mueller added. “She was able to gain some friendships and make connections versus being in that fight-or-flight state of mind. She was able to just have moments of being a kid here.”

Becoming a Wendy’s Wonderful Kid

When Lillian was 9, she joined Wendy’s Wonderful Kids, which is a U.S.-and-Canada-based program of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, operated in South Dakota by CHS.

WWK adoption specialist Tina Graber is based in Sioux Falls. She is an accomplished adoption professional who has facilitated 25 adoptions and guardianships in eight years.

“In Wendy’s Wonderful Kids, we use an evidence-based, child-focused recruitment model to find the right family for every child in our program,” Graber said.

“We tend to focus on children who could be considered ‘hard to place.’ For example, 89 percent of children served by WWK are older than age 8, and 35 percent have had six or more placements (in foster care). One of the Dave Thomas Foundation’s principals is that every child is adoptable,” she said

Graber began by building a relationship with Lillian. She visited Lillian at school and in her residential treatment unit and spent time with Lillian on some of her favorite activities. She spoke with Lillian’s teachers, special education directors, therapists, unit staff and the adoptive family of her siblings to understand her unique needs and how a family could best support her at home, school and in the community.

Then, Graber reviewed the searches for Lillian’s relatives that had been completed by the kinship specialist at the South Dakota Department of Social Services and conducted additional searches. Next, she worked with Lillian’s DSS caseworker, Heidi Broesder, to prepare for recruiting a family that would be the best fit for Lillian’s unique needs.

Graber and Broesder knew a local school social worker who had adopted a youth with special needs. When the school social worker learned that Lillian needed a family, she spoke with a special education teacher colleague – Sarah Hansen — who was in the process of becoming licensed for foster care. Coincidentally, Hansen’s father, Brad Hansen, works at CHS in the facilities department.

“I had decided I wanted to do foster care, so I was going through the classes,” Hansen said. “And right before I took my last class, our school social worker came to me one day in the teacher’s lounge and said, ‘I know a little girl that needs a home.’ I didn’t yet know if I was going to adopt — my hope was to be able to keep siblings together in foster care. But I contacted Heidi and Tina, and they told me about Lillian.”

Lillian with DSS caseworker Heidi Broesder and Tina Graber, WWK adoption specialist at CHS.

“They put me in touch with unit coordinator Scott Egan at CHS. We met, and he wanted me to be aware of her behaviors and make sure that, especially as a single person, I was up for the challenge. And Scott brought in some staff who worked with Lillian to give me more information about her. I saw that everybody loved her, and they were very happy for her.”

Hansen began volunteering several times a week on Lillian’s unit so they could get to know each other. The two seemed to click almost immediately, and Lillian fell in love with Hansen’s three dogs.

“The first time we met at CHS, we were coloring pictures,” Hansen said. “Lil asked me what my birthday was, and I said, ‘Oct. 25.’ She said, ‘I think that’s my birthday!’ One of the staff members said, ‘Yes, I think it is.’ And sure enough, we have the same birthday.”

“We bonded pretty quickly,” Hansen continued. “I got hugs every time I went to the unit.”

As staff got to know Hansen and helped her learn about Lillian’s daily needs, everyone was eager to move forward with matching the two.

“They were great about showing me her triggers in real time, while they were happening, and, if behaviors arose, showing me how they handled them quickly and efficiently and got her back on track,” Hansen said.

“With their help, I was able to learn the things that she likes, things that she doesn’t like. So when she came home for the first weekend visit, I was ready,” Hansen said. “Everybody has been amazing. I work in education, and I see lots of behaviors — but I have learned a lot from being around CHS staff.”

Forever family

“How did you feel when you found out that I was going to be your forever family?” Hansen asks Lillian.

“Happy,” Lillian smiles.

Graber had the honor of being with Hansen as she told Lillian that she wanted the girl to join her family. “Lillian was thrilled! She had the biggest smile on her face and threw her arms around Sarah to hug her,” she said.

Lillian began having visits at Sarah’s home. Graber and Mueller prepared Lillian to leave CHS and join her new family. Tina continued to provide guidance and support to Hansen and Lillian during the transition to Hansen’s home and up until adoption day, and she assessed and offered recommendations for additional supportive services for Lillian.

“She has thrived since moving in with Sarah in April,” Graber said.  “She has shown dramatic progress in all areas of her life. She loves taking care of her dogs, wearing matching outfits with Sarah and going on trips together.”

Already, Hansen has taken Lillian on an Alaskan cruise — and to Wisconsin and the Black Hills. Lillian also enjoys cooking, decorating, cleaning, doing puzzles — and she adores animals. She’s even participating in equine therapy in Brandon.

Her transition to public school has been smooth, Hansen said.

“CHS made that transition easier than I could have ever anticipated,” she said.

A fifth grader, Lillian loves school and benefits from additional services, including special education, speech/language and occupational therapy.

“With Sarah in her life, we did see improvement with her speech. That stability really, really helped her with that,” Mueller said. “Even at her adoption, her speech was much, much better than it was here. That permanency was really needed for her.”

And forever extended family

Hansen’s family is large, so Lillian, who is friendly and outgoing, has fun spending time with her new grandparents and her extended family. She even chose to honor her grandma with her new middle name.

“My mom’s name is Jean Hansen, and my middle name is Jean,” Hansen said. “When it came time for Lillian to choose a middle name, she wanted the middle name of Jean. So now she’s Lillian Jean Hansen. And she got to tell Grandma.”

“What did Grandma do?” Hansen asked Lillian.

“She cried,” Lillian said.

“Yeah. She was crying because she was so happy. She’s so proud of you.”

“Lillian was the family’s first great-granddaughter,” Hansen explained. “We have lots of boys, but we have not had a girl in our family for 30 years. Then came Lil, and then after Lil, now we have two girl babies.”

“She broke the spell,” Hansen laughed. “Lil is our good luck charm.”

To learn more about Wendy’s Wonderful Kids, visit davethomasfoundation.org. To learn more about Children’s Home Society, please visit chssd.org.