Bringing together the right child with the right family

This paid piece is sponsored by Children’s Home Society.

The idealized adoption story involves an infant, a grateful couple and happily ever after.

However, reality is usually much messier and more complicated. Many adoptive parents don’t know what they’re getting into. Many adopted children are scarred by trauma, even as babies. Many aren’t able to be adopted until they’re much older.

That was the case with Jenny, who was part of Wendy’s Wonderful Kids, a program of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. Program recruiters use a child-focused model to find homes for older and hard-to-place children.

Jenny was 11 when Children’s Home Society adoption specialist Tina Graber began working with her.

“She’d been on my caseload since March 2018. Jenny was a resident at CHS from 2012 to 2014. She was in foster care for more than 4,500 days — most of her life,” Graber said.

And finally, Jenny was adopted.

Growing a family through adoption 

While Jenny’s background is unusual, the story of Chris and Megen, her adoptive parents, is no less remarkable.

The couple knew they wanted a family. Chris teaches middle school science, and Megen is a mental health therapist.

“My parents are older,” Chris said. They’re in their mid-70s, so I wanted our kids to remember their grandparents instead of just looking at photos or a videotape. That was what happened to me.”

They knew some people who are foster families and saw the need through their jobs, Megen said.

“We just decided that that was how we wanted to build our family,” she said.

“You hear a lot of heartbreaking stories of kids who age out and don’t get that family. I just hated that. Every kid deserves people who are in their corner for the rest of their life.”

They knew “how to deal with that age group,” she continued.

“Much more than we know how to deal with diapers and that stuff,” she said. “We felt it would be a good fit for our family, with what we like to do and our routines. Having a child who can come with us to do things — instead of always trying to find a babysitter — there are just a lot of perks to having an older child.”

A family by choice 

Chris and Megen chose Jenny. But Jenny also chose them.

“One of the interesting things that the judge said at the adoption was that not many people get to choose their parents,” Megen said.

In South Dakota, children 12 and older have a say in who adopts them; they are asked in court if they agree to be adopted.

“She has no reason to trust adults,” Megen added. “There’s nothing in her background that says adults are safe to trust. People think, oh, that’s so great of you for taking her in. Yeah, but that’s also so great of her to give us a chance.”

Jenny has become more vocal and self-confident since the adoption, in addition to growing several inches. She likes school and enjoys choir, dance, art, FFA and playing Minecraft.

“She likes puzzles. Oh, and she’s been building a lot with Legos lately,” Chris said. “She and I are starting a large pirate ship kit. And she’s into cats and cats. And some more cats.”

“And cats,” Megen added.

Learn more about Children’s Home Society foster care and adoption services here. Children’s Home Society is the South Dakota agency representing Wendy’s Wonderful Kids, a signature program of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. A five-year study showed that children referred to Wendy’s Wonderful Kids are up to three times more likely to be adopted.