The flight of the blue jay: A story of hope and resilience

This piece is sponsored by Children’s Home Society. 

A painting of a blue jay hangs on the wall of a crisis advocacy office at Children’s Home Shelter for Family Safety. It’s a beautifully rendered, finely detailed and exquisitely simple portrait of a lone bird in the spotlight against a deep green and black background.

Erika, a 35-year-old former client of Children’s Home Shelter for Family Safety, painted this piece. Her harrowing experiences contrast sharply with the peacefulness of the natural world shown in her artwork.

Fleeing an abusive marriage, Erika and her four sons moved to Sioux Falls to live with her sister in 2023. Before long, her sister could no longer afford the rent and left town. Erika wound up staying with a man she had been dating.

“We lived there for two and a half months,” she said. “He would come home drunk, and he got really physical.” Erika wrecked her van trying to get away from him. She had no family, friends or resources nearby and no transportation. She had been unable to complete commissioned paintings, which were her only source of income, because of the turmoil.

Fleeing for freedom

Finally, after another assault, Erika called the police, who referred her to Shelter for Family Safety. “It was crazy how fast they responded. They sent a car right away, and I got some of my things out of the apartment,”  Erika said.

“They (the shelter) gave us a place to stay, helped me find housing, took me to job interviews, helped with transportation and clothes, plus Christmas presents and things like that.”

Erika continues to be grateful. “They helped me out so much. And that help is still rippling — the kids are still using clothing and toys we got there, and it’s been almost two years.”

With the assistance of shelter staff, Erika went through the court to obtain a police escort to get the artwork and painting supplies she’d left at the apartment.

And because Erika was strangled, her perpetrator was arrested and charged; shelter staff helped her with court proceedings as well.

Shay, who is a case manager at Shelter for Family Safety, worked with Erika. “She was just a wonderful mom. Her boys were so well behaved.” Shay said.

Over the course of several months, Erika made progress finding an apartment and a job, but it took time. Setbacks can be disappointing to survivors newly seeking independence.

“Erika took it in stride,” Shay said. “She would push through it every single time, even when I could tell she was feeling a little bit disheartened. We would talk, and she would figure it out. Her resiliency was just amazing.”

Shay also remembers Erika using the shelter’s multipurpose room to paint. “I told her, ‘Just paint again to escape and find your joy.’ And she did.”

Erika has been painting with acrylics since she was a teenager. She was a painting instructor and has completed more than 300 commissions. “I like to paint things in nature,” she said. “I love the uniqueness of everything and all the details when you look closer. It just gives you a fresh perspective and a chance to focus on something other than what’s going on in your life.”

When Erika left the shelter, she gifted many of her original pieces of art to staff, who treasure them. Many are still on display.

Art is known for its healing properties, for both artists and viewers. “That’s why I donated those pieces to the shelter,” Erika said. “People could look at them and find at least a little bit of happiness or hope.”

“They gave me a place to live when we didn’t have anywhere to go. It was the first time I think I felt compassion or empathy in my life to the full extent.”

Today, Erika and her children are doing well. After moving into an apartment, she finished college, earning a degree in psychology. She works with runaway children and other youths at a social service agency in Sioux Falls and continues to paint and to care for her four sons.

“When I need a reminder of why I do what I do, I think of Erika’s story,” Shay said.

Blue is the rarest color in nature. And birds — even adaptable, resilient blue jays — are delicate creatures. Erika’s vivid blue jay stands on a bare winter branch, against a dark and threatening sky.

Dark skies of violence

There’s another dark side to Erika’s story. Strangulation isn’t just a type of assault — it’s an extremely dangerous and often lethal act of violence and often the “calling card” of a killer.

Erika’s perpetrator in Sioux Falls strangled her and dragged her up the stairs to physically put her in the street. The husband she had fled earlier strangled her when she was pregnant — and eventually held a gun to her head. Going back further, her own father strangled her when she was a child.

Recovering from a lifetime of abuse and trauma can be overwhelming. Erika initially began therapy through the shelter’s free counseling services. She now recognizes that she struggles with PTSD and is continuing therapy.

The truth is that Erika could have sought refuge at a domestic violence shelter at any time in her life. Fortunately, she was able to connect with the Shelter for Family Safety in time to make a change and to break the cycle for her own children.

“The community needs the shelter,” Erika said. “It helps mothers and children and gives the moms education on how to raise their kids.”

“Donors aren’t just helping women — they are also helping children. And in my opinion, that can make a big impact on the future of the community as a whole.”

Learn more about how you can help ensure that domestic violence survivors have the resources they need at chssd.org.