‘Adoption renaissance’: Open adoption is the new norm in Sioux Falls

Sarah was new to Sioux Falls and in the process of transitioning out of a halfway house when she got pregnant in late 2019.

She was struggling to find a job, which made it hard to find stability. At one point, Sarah — whose last name is omitted for privacy reasons — said she was trying to get back into prison just so she could have some sense of structure in her life.

Then, she found Heart2Heart Adoptions. It gave her the support she needed during her pregnancy.

“They made sure I had food, a roof over my head,” Sarah said. “They made sure that all my medical needs were met.”

Heart2Heart also introduced Sarah to the concept of open adoption, which Adoption Supervisor Beth Hughes says is the new normal when it comes to adoption.

Open adoption allows birth mothers continued contact with their biological children and the children’s adoptive parents. Hughes estimates the vast majority of adoptions the agency works with today have at least some degree of openness.

“We’ve got families that invite the birth mother to birthday parties, or some go out and vacation together,” Hughes said.

Thad and Chelsea Giedd, a Sioux Falls couple who recently adopted their son, Henley, said open adoption was always part of the plan for them.

“I knew from all the research I had done it’s just better for our child mentally, for them to know their birth family and for us to be able to know more about them,” Chelsea Giedd said.

The Giedds started the adoption process in June 2020 after about a year of trying for biological children.

“That was not an option for us … pretty quickly after that, we decided adoption was something we wanted to pursue,” Thad Giedd said.

Their son is less than a month old, but already they’ve begun to experience what an open adoption feels like. Chelsea Giedd was present with the birth mother in the delivery room and was able to have skin-to-skin contact with Henley right after he was born.

She’s been in touch with the birth mother about once a week, including sending family photos.

In the future, the couple is open to the birth mother coming to visit and maybe even spend a holiday together.

“We’re super open to that,” Chelsea Giedd said. “And we’re also just respecting whatever she needs at whatever time.”

Their birth mother is 16 years old, so the couple recognizes she may change her mind over time when it comes to how much contact she wants to have, and they’re open to working with whatever she wants or needs.

Not every open adoption involves shared holidays or vacations, Hughes said. Sometimes, it’s as simple as sharing occasional pictures.

The goal for her, as a person working with birth mothers and adoptive families, is to prioritize what the birth mother wants, and that’s a change from what adoption looked like in years past.

“Before, the birth mother didn’t control the process,” Hughes said. “Now, she controls the process … we call it the ‘adoption renaissance.’”

For Sarah, having an open adoption for her son Matthias means the world. She’s in regular contact with Ashley and Bryan Paulson, Matthias’ adoptive parents, and she gets to see them about once a month.

Those meetings are important for Sarah, but they’re equally important for the adoptive couple, Ashley Paulson said.

“We look at her as part of our family,” Paulson said. “It’s so important to have her involved in (Matthias’) life … she’s his heritage. I want him to know where he comes from as much as he can.”

The Paulsons began their adoption journey in February 2020, and by April they had matched with Sarah.

Their relationship with Sarah began before Matthias was born. Throughout that summer, they got together a couple times a month for breakfast, or a trip to the farmer’s market or just a walk around a local park.

Paulson said she encourages anyone thinking about adoption to seriously consider an open adoption.

“I really just think the value of having that relationship is so important,” she said. “Matthias will always have two moms … and I am so grateful that we’ve been able to maintain that connection.”