Effort to support families in pregnancy, adoption loss expands to Sioux Falls

About 10 days after the loss of their stillborn daughter, Paul Blanchard turned to his wife and proposed hosting a golf tournament to raise funds to help other grieving parents.

Nancy Blanchard shook her head no. The daughter they planned to name Maggie Jean had been their third pregnancy to end in grief.

“It’s too early,” she said. “No, I’m not doing this.”

The Blanchards eventually tried to have a child again, and daughter Jessica was born 29 years ago. Their fifth pregnancy 2 1/2 years later resulted in a son, Joe.

Years later, the two empty-nester parents stood in the kitchen. Nancy Blanchard looked at her husband. “It’s time,” she said.

Paul Blanchard admits that he was confused.

“We hadn’t talked about Maggie Jean for years,” he said. “I’m looking at her — what are you talking about? Divorce? She looks at me again, and she says, Maggie Jean. I went, oh, OK, now you’re ready to do something.”

That “something” turned out to be the Maggie Jean Foundation, designed to offer comfort to families who suffer a miscarriage, stillbirth or adoption loss. An annual golf tournament in Marshall, Minnesota, raises funds to produce “boxes of blessings,” filled with items designed to give comfort and hope.

Since it started in 2022, 194 boxes have been mailed to grieving parents in 24 states. The next Maggie Jean Invitational will be Aug. 10 in Marshall, but volunteers also are bringing it to Sioux Falls this year.

The Sioux Falls Maggie Jean Golf Tournament will begin with registration check-in at 8 a.m. July 14 for the four-person, 18-hole scramble at Elmwood Golf Course. The cost is $150.

“We’ll have a shotgun start at 9, make the turn about 11, and golfers will be given a sack lunch to eat. At the end, we’ll have some appetizers and give out prizes,” local organizer Deb Hermann said.

Raffle baskets also will be used to raise funds, and volunteers who don’t play golf will use the time to assemble boxes of blessings that will be distributed in the area.

The boxes contain two bereavement books, including a journal; a knit cap or blanket that is the gestationally correct size; a medallion with footprints; a sterling silver angel wing charm; and forget-me-not seeds, Paul Blanchard said.

It also contains a candle that can be lit every Oct. 15, which is World Loss Pregnancy Day. People are asked to light candles at 7 p.m. in their time zone, keeping them flickering for an hour.

And Nancy Blanchard writes a personal note to be included in each box.

“It’s a labor of love,” Paul Blanchard said. “It takes some time for her to do it, but we didn’t want to use a word processor. She handwrites it out. We do the same thing on the box. Putting on an address label is too impersonal.”

People rarely ask for boxes for themselves, he said. Usually, the request comes from family, neighbors or friends and is made within a few months of the loss, although there is no time limit.

Church handicraft groups in the Marshall area make the knit caps or blankets. A foundation board member who established something similar after her son died when a car struck his school bus connected them with knitters.

The Sioux Falls volunteers are setting up their own contacts. Hermann has grandchildren who attend Lincoln High School, and at one of the events she attended, a woman was busy crocheting. During a break, Hermann approached her and shared the story of the Maggie Jean Foundation.

“She said, oh, I had a loss myself. I would love to make stuff,” Hermann said. “I had never seen her before, but that’s just the pull it has. We could definitely use more people.”

Hermann lived in Marshall before moving to Sioux Falls. Last year, she took seven women to Marshall with her to golf in the invitational. It was then that the idea of raising funds for the Maggie Jean Foundation and distributing more boxes in the Sioux Falls area surfaced.

The local women would like to see the boxes eventually placed in the Avera and Sanford Health bereavement centers. Locally, the hope is to assemble 100 to 150 boxes of blessings during the four-hour golf tournament, Hermann said.

The Blanchards, both now 64, were married when he was 31 and she was 30. He coached college baseball for 35 years while she made a name as an amateur golfer in Minnesota. However, starting a family was their priority.

Their first pregnancy was ectopic and ended at seven weeks. The second pregnancy also ended at seven weeks, this time a miscarriage. Before their third pregnancy ended at 22 weeks, they allowed themselves to dream and chose the name Maggie Jean.

In the past five years, they have heard many stories of infant loss. There was a woman who had gone through four losses, Paul Blanchard said. An 80-year-old woman heard about the foundation and for the first time shared the story of her lost child with a grown daughter.

“People are very comforted in the fact that they’re not alone,” Paul Blanchard said. “This happens way more than you think.”